Waking into a full day of silence seemed taunting and the lack of sleep took over my whole body. My first day at Hariharalaya yoga and mediation center was somewhat of a haze. Between the five mediations, the constant outdoor naps, the simple vegan foods and the absolute peace and quiet I was experiencing all felt like a lucid dream. Yet as the day came to a close my full day of silence seemed like the most rewarding day there, yes the most difficult but the quiet moments I spent with myself as I walked around through the park and sat through five mediations taught me a beautiful lesson...
During our first breakfast Joel, the creator of this magical place, read us a poem by Oriah titled the Invitaion. The last phrase of the poem became embedded with me and somewhat became the slogan for my stay in Cambodia. "I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty movements"
By the second day we were free to converse with one another and take the day with more ease. Though I still took the time to be with myself, by loosing myself in books, in listening as the world goes on and enjoying the smiles I received as we rode bikes through the countryside. It was this day that I felt the abundance of joy and appreciation for the beauty surrounding me. This day played a very significant role for me due to our last mediation. The day after silence is spent in a very lighthearted mood, with more freedom to explore and a final mediation exercise that exerts all your emotion, passion, fuel, and personality. An exercise titled the five rhythms, in which a set of music is chosen characterizing worlds such as chaos, lyrical, etc. Joel chose to create a playlist from my iPod, seeing that the the categories he was looking for we're embodied in my music. For me this was a very special experience...
What began as a slow dance to Santana's Black Magic woman, soon escalated to deep beats of Bassnecter and other deep house elctro beats until it hit the longing vocals of Radiohead and Nine Inch Nails then concluding with Instrumetals by Empire of the Sun. Being able to see these amazing people I shared the past couple of days with completely let loose to the music I find myself often listening to was truly a wonderful experience.
The few days I spent in Cambodia were some of the most rewarding moments and the perfect way for me to collect my thoughts and metal struggles. The most important lesson I learned from this experience was the meaning of home. Though I wish I could tell you word for word Joel's depiction of the home to you, I will do my best to summarize his insight.
It lays within me, there's isn't a way to miss home for home is within the body, within my soul, it dwells in my skin. The home that we constantly travel back to mentally and physically is a created concrete place, given the name ' home'. My memories are the embodiment of this structure created to fulfill the meaning of home. Though there is a home we constantly overlook, the most important home, a place we will never be without. A home that follows us day in and day out, traveling to the corners of the world. I cannot miss home, my mind, my heart they are my home. Wherever I go in the world if I am there physically or mentally then home comes along with me. For the home that truly exits and will never be replaced, and so for that reason it must be cared for, the home within us. Take care to clean the house, clean the gutters, polish the floors, wash the dishes, pick up the mess, be mindful of who you let in and if they shall cause a disturbance walk then to the door for your house is a place of peace and serenity, without negativity. This is the most sacred place we will ever be. Take care.
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