Siem Reap, Cambodia. Hariharalaya

In a state of pure exhaustion I tried my hardest to stay awake through another half hour long meditation. With a restless mind I tired my hardest to concentrate but once again my mind couldn't help but walk away from me...
Waking into a full day of silence seemed taunting and the lack of sleep took over my whole body. My first day at Hariharalaya yoga and mediation center was somewhat of a haze. Between the five mediations, the constant outdoor naps, the simple vegan foods and the absolute peace and quiet I was experiencing all felt like a lucid dream. Yet as the day came to a close my full day of silence seemed like the most rewarding day there, yes the most difficult but the quiet moments I spent with myself as I walked around through the park and sat through five mediations taught me a beautiful lesson...
During our first breakfast Joel, the creator of this magical place, read us a poem by Oriah titled the Invitaion. The last phrase of the poem became embedded with me and somewhat became the slogan for my stay in Cambodia. "I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty movements"

By the second day we were free to converse with one another and take the day with more ease. Though I still took the time to be with myself, by loosing myself in books, in listening as the world goes on and enjoying the smiles I received as we rode bikes through the countryside. It was this day that I felt the abundance of joy and appreciation for the beauty surrounding me. This day played a very significant role for me due to our last mediation. The day after silence is spent in a very lighthearted mood, with more freedom to explore and a final mediation exercise that exerts all your emotion, passion, fuel, and personality. An exercise titled the five rhythms, in which a set of music is chosen characterizing worlds such as chaos, lyrical, etc. Joel chose to create a playlist from my iPod, seeing that the the categories he was looking for we're embodied in my music. For me this was a very special experience...
What began as a slow dance to Santana's Black Magic woman, soon escalated to deep beats of Bassnecter and other deep house elctro beats until it hit the longing vocals of Radiohead and Nine Inch Nails then concluding with Instrumetals by Empire of the Sun. Being able to see these amazing people I shared the past couple of days with completely let loose to the music I find myself often listening to was truly a wonderful experience.
The few days I spent in Cambodia were some of the most rewarding moments and the perfect way for me to collect my thoughts and metal struggles. The most important lesson I learned from this experience was the meaning of home. Though I wish I could tell you word for word Joel's depiction of the home to you, I will do my best to summarize his insight.

It lays within me, there's isn't a way to miss home for home is within the body, within my soul, it dwells in my skin. The home that we constantly travel back to mentally and physically is a created concrete place, given the name ' home'. My memories are the embodiment of this structure created to fulfill the meaning of home. Though there is a home we constantly overlook, the most important home, a place we will never be without. A home that follows us day in and day out, traveling to the corners of the world. I cannot miss home, my mind, my heart they are my home. Wherever I go in the world if I am there physically or mentally then home comes along with me. For the home that truly exits and will never be replaced, and so for that reason it must be cared for, the home within us. Take care to clean the house, clean the gutters, polish the floors, wash the dishes, pick up the mess, be mindful of who you let in and if they shall cause a disturbance walk then to the door for your house is a place of peace and serenity, without negativity. This is the most sacred place we will ever be. Take care.

Finally moving and Finally Settled

I've decided it's taken me long enough to finally write a post.  So much has happened in the last couple weeks it's about time I write it down and share my exciting, nerve-racking, overwhelming and brand new experiences.  Especially before I forget them all! Okay so here it goes...

My week in London was absolutely amazing.  The jet leg was a bit of a hurdle for the first few days, but my family and I definitely didn't let it stop us from exploring all of the great things that London has to offer.  Our week was filled with the Rodriguez family essentials...Great food, wine, friends and endless amounts of laughter (and of course a snort or two from me!)  We did the tourist stuff including, London Eye, Tower of London, Big Ben, trip to Greenwich and a few other things.  We were also able to meet some of my parents old friends and spend some great nights catching up, laughing and drinking lots of wine over many many delicious meals.

I can not believe it is already october and I left my comfort zone and home a month ago. So many new places, faces and unforgettable memories thus far.  I look forward to the adventure, the suprise and the "let's fucking do it" metality! I'm ready to dive into the next two months and never hear myself say "I wish I did that".

Wish me luck!

So it began...

Kanchanaburi...cont.

Kanchanaburi

I've had the strangest sensation under my skin lately. No it's not the mosquitos, though those jerks do find me appetizing. This feeling is much more internal, something like a tingling in my bones, rapid rush of blood. It doesn't itch it doesn't bother me but I tend to notice it more during specific times.
The symptoms have been increasing, but I think this "thing" has really taken over me.
For instance I hiked seven levels of waterfalls just the other day. Right as I got to the seventh level my friends turned around because they wanted to witness my expression and this "thing" completely take over me. Gazing up at that waterfall was one of the most magical feelings. If you have ever gone skydiving it felt somewhat like that. I found myself at a loss for words, my jaw dropped, heart started pounding, and pure shock took over me. If that wasn't a tiny bit of heaven then i don't know what is.
The town of Kanchanaburi was wonderful. The people, the food, and the scenery alone made me fall deeper and deeper in love with this world. Every night was spent dancing and sinking, drinking with locals and laughing into the early morning. Besides the amazing day spent at the waterfalls the last full day also held something special. Elephant riding, waterfall splashing, bamboo rafting, historical museum trekking, lunch feasting, cave gazing, and train riding. It's wonderful how such a beautiful place can be seen only about two hours away from Bangkok.
As far as that sensation, it's the most amazing feeling and the best part about it I don't think it will ever go away. In the next four months it will probably reach an all time high...aahhh I can't wait.

Wandering Wondering

I was so tired from the lack of sleep so I laid down as close to the edge of the railing of the ferry. I fell asleep to the gentle sound of Bon iver...phrases like "I told you to be patient...fine...balanced...kind" "I can see for miles, miles, miles" amd "I was no that magnificent" caught me as I waved in and out of sleep. When I finally awoke I turned around to face the ocean. I felt as if I was the only one floating along the ocean, the wind blowing me along, and I had the sensation as this journey would never end. But in that moment I remember putting together all the pieces of my wonderful weekend and the days and weeks that led up to this moment. My appreciation for my life back home sunk in but even more my love affair with Thailand surfaced. As I lay there gazing out into the open water and focusing on reflection the sun was playing upon the water I admitted to myself how I'm falling in love with Thailand and the adventure that every single moment has brought me. It's been a month since I first arrived in Thailand and in that time I've experienced so many waves of emotions but as its boiled down to this point I couldn't e any happier.
Yesterday alone threw so many surprises at me that even as I sit here in this tiny cafe I wonder what can happen just stepping out into the wet streets of bangkok.
The island of Koh Tao is truly wonderful and we couldn't have gotten more luckier through the people we met. Though I like going to school and being in a certain order there is something extremely attractive about living an island life, hoping around here and there for sometime. Of course if I plan on doing this i would choose to wait till I'm done with school. But you must admit, there are times in our lives when we question what it would be to drop everything and begin somewhere else. Though for now the ability to live in Bangkok, and then easily pick up my bag and wander to paradise is pretty amazing. Like I said, this country already has a hold of me, though the people and the settings I've become very much aware of my outlook on the world and the path in which I would like my life to go.
So here I am just a little wild thing running along wandering, wondering and meeting other wild things. Life in the jungle ain't so bad.

Carol: "it's going to be a place where only the things you want to happen will happen"

Max: "we can totally build a place like that"

Koh Tao